You can tell, you're getting older

When the shift doesn't seem important any more. I'm heading towards my 36th birthday, it's not a round one, well, not numerically anyway, and I keep forgetting I should organise something properly, with babysitters and the like, because it just doesn't seem important this year.

I've always been the queen of my own birthday parties, but this year, I wanna see Jo Hook play, and I wanted to go to a lecture on Vita Sackville West, but the former is hoarse and may not make it the latter was fully booked, so I'm thinking a stroll along camber sands with my Mum and Freddie will do me just fine.

It's not that I'm over the dressing up box days, god no, just this week I brought one of those grieving widow at the races hats I've always lusted after, all black netting and cool silouette; but I'm just thinking I'm just as happy to wear it in a moment of full on flounciness in my local, as to have it be centre stage of a birthday bash.

It's been mental lately.
Hence the lack of action here.
The test results came back, and Frazer headed to New Zealand. Now he knows he's Dad, he is making something akin to an effort to keep in touch. It's not mindblowing, but his Mum sent Freddie a Christmas pressie which I thought was kind, and I'm gradually elicting a little folder of emails from Dad for Freddie should Frazer not return, or return and not visit.

I'm officially redundant. Been paid a years salary to leave a job I wanted to leave, and can't believe my luck. I nearly didn't apply as I didn't know they had a voluntary redundancy trawl on, got told on the train on the day before the scheme closed. Result.

I've finished training to be a foster mum. It was mindblowing. Tough. I now start the full on psychological assessment process, which I think will be equally as tough but I'm raring to go.

I'm so peeved about Hillary. I think she's gonna lose. And whilst I'm all for the fresh faced rhetorical brilliance of Obama, under different circumstances, I can't help feeling that it will set back women in American politics for a generation. I also think it's just plain unfair that a guy with three years in the senate gets to be the candidate over the most experienced person ever to stand for a first term, seemingly on the basis he isn't her.

xxx